97-How Shame Fuels Narcissistic Abuse—and How to Break Free with Emma Lyons

About this episode

Shame often masquerades as a moral compass—but for many survivors of narcissistic abuse, it becomes the cage that keeps them stuck. In this 1 in 3 episode, Emma breaks down how shame fuels narcissistic abuse, why it fuses with identity, and how it traps survivors in the same relationship patterns even after they leave. She explains the key difference between guilt (which supports repair and growth) and shame (which corrodes empathy, blocks learning, and freezes change).

Emma walks us through her practical BREAK Framework—Break the trance, Refuse to engage, Expose the lie, Anchor the truth, and Kick it out. These tools help survivors interrupt shame in real time, shift out of old conditioning, and reclaim their sense of power. Expect clear language, body-based grounding strategies, and boundary tools that put control back where it belongs: with you.

We also explore how culture rewards shaming as a form of control, why scapegoating spreads through families and institutions, and what it means to become “unshameable”—where projections slide off instead of sinking in. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s sovereignty and self-leadership: humility without humiliation, accountability without self-erasure.

If you’ve ever wondered why beating yourself up has never led to real healing, this conversation offers a new path. Learn how guilt can guide healthy repair and how shame loses its grip when you stop letting it define you. Listen in, try the tools, and share this episode with someone who’s ready to reclaim their power. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review to help more survivors find support.

Emma's Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/emma-lyons/

https://www.instagram.com/trauma.matrix

https://www.youtube.com/@trauma.matrix

https://www.facebook.com/trauma.matrix

https://www.linkedin.com/in/emma-lyons-traumamatrix/

https://subscribepage.io/GtaJ5s

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

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If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

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Thank you for listening!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe